In Gods Arms

 i have so much i want to say. I want to reach otu and ask for prayers but it all sound so dumb right now. so  i cant. My grandmother passed last night and my father just called to tell me. as soon as i saw the message from his girlfriend telling me to call him it was urgent i knew in my heart what he had to say. I immediatly went numb. i still am. I dont know how many followers i have left after the much needed break i took from everything but those of you that do read this please pray for my family. we lost an amazing woman last night.

I believe.. a little to much now

This morning is straight up becoming creepy. not WTF? creepy. but run from your house screaming kinna creepy. With that said let me tell you I'm not a easily creeped out person for the most part.I'm one of those ppl that watch scary movies just to see if they will scare me.Ive taken friends to  the Jane Wyatt, haunted whore house and seen some WEIRD shit. candles flickering in windows where there was nobody there. checking the place out during daylight hours and all the wooden shutters having been shut then coming back at dusk and all of them except the ones for the room someone was supposedly murdered in being open. Now mind you this wasn't public property we were on and before we went out there myself and a close friend were the only ones that knew the way out there plus huge logging chains kept the gates shut. Plus it was a mile hike from the gate to the house. so the likely hood of anyone going in there on a Sunday night, in the hour we were gone to get flashlights, just to mess with us is super super slim. Ive gone to the Tb hospital and seen shit.. dude ill admit that crap was freaky. we all(5) of us stayed together the entire time. Walked upstairs and that was where they kept the children. The pain was peeing and crazing the beds in the bedroom were scattered about. The children's toys were still laying in the floor. The room was painted light yellow but the paint had long since started changing color and fading. some spots were yellow some were almost white. EXCEPT one single closet That closet door was open just like the other, But its bright yellow paint looked brand now. in the dark with out a flash light we could all tell that. talk about a creepy feeling.. there were claw marks on the inside of the door. All of us were focused on this room/closet. discussing WHY there were claw marks on the inside of a small closet door. When we turned around.. all the beds in the room were lined up nicely the paint was all yellow again and the toys were piled in a corner. THAT the most scared Ive ever been in my life! needless to say we took off out of there like our asses were on fire. Many ppl have asked me how to get there since then. Ive never told any one i always say " find it like we did ". Ive been on the grounds of the old hospital once. but refused to go in. the group that went in had a similar incident happen but i refused to go in. now with all that said.......

The baby woke me at 5:45 this morning. against my will i might add. I had no desire to get up but i did need to pee. So like usual i set the baby in the floor and ran to pee. hoping a quick bottle and he would doze back off. I still had almost an hour to sleep for goodness sakes. while i was making  his bottle i heard a phone go off. no biggie. 3 ppl in this house have cell phones and the kids have countless old ones they play with. i figured the oldest's was going off, or maybe he had miss set his alarm. then i realized the baby was playing with mine so he must have hit a button. Nope i don't have that ring tone. before i figured where it was coming from it stopped. so i snatched up the baby  and crawled back in bed. not 5 min later there it went again.. i figured it must be one of Sissy's she plays with and let it play. a few min later it went off again. this time i tried to pinpoint where in my room the phone was. Then mid song it switched.. then stopped. i laid back down with the baby.. That was pointless. By now he was wide away so i took him in the living room to play. Frankly i was slightly irritated at this phone that kept going off. I turned on dinosaur train, and started  coffee. then that damn phone went off again.. same song  and then switched mid song..

I found the damn thing.. then i got the creeps.

The phone wasn't really much of a phone anymore. Its the keypad half of a old cell phone that got broke about a year ago. The battery was dying when it got broke. All song/ring tones were saved on a memory card.. them memory card is no longer in that phone. I knew this phone was DEAD. don't know why we still had that half. To prove a point to myself i took out the battery and stuck it in another old phone we have that works but has no service. the battery was DEAD. So i put the batter back in the half phone. NEVER TOUCHED the power button.. and the damn thing went off again. This time it was a diff song. something by Brad Paisley. I was officially creeped out.

Then i realized all three ring tones were songs i liked.. LOVE songs i liked.

Hubby and i have been having major issues last few days. i broke down in tears at a friends last night over it.. The big D word has crossed my mind a few times in the past few days.. esp last night..

Funny thing is.... phone hasnt gone off again..

Is it a sign? Or is it just plain screwed up?

Oh and while the phone was seriously skeeving me out and i was having this weird revelation about all the songs being love songs.. the sound refused to work on the TV or the radio..

So please.. give me your thoughts..  I'm begging you!!!