Monday, April 26, 2010

pray for you.. and the sex talk.. its white and sticky!!

OK so i stumbled upon this video this morning and it cracked me up! just totally made my fucking Monday!!
Anyway! watch it.. you wont regret it.....

So i had an interesting day yesterday.not like got out off my lazy ass and did anything interesting but.. well interesting none the less.

Ex hubby came over to spend time with the boy! its a usual Sunday routine.. but this time they went to the state park to spend some one on one time together.
somehow the whole "bird and the bees" convo came up.
well when they got home the ex told me what they had discussed but not how he explained it to the boy!! HA! well i asked later that night how his dad had explained it to him and was amazed..
i got this out of it..
white sticky stuff comes out of his penis
a vagina is a crack with a hole in it that you put your penis in
you don't pick up a girl and have sex with her in the back of your car
there's something you put over your penis to keep from getting AIDS
don't ever have sex with a girl from a bar
That's how babies are made.

so umm is it just me or was ALOT left out.
now granted i knew the "talk" was gonna happen one day but i didn't really expect it to go like that. and without me present. so at some point in the near future I'm going to have to sit my 9 yr old boy down and actually explain it to him i think.
But he was told on NO uncertain terms that he was NOT to go to school and talk about this. Now lets hope to GOD he doesn't.
I seriously didn't expect that yesterday!! Oh that and he told his dad he likes looking at naked girls.. i guess that's a good thing apposed to naked men.. right?

so on the topic of the oldest child.. she went for a ride with the hubby and calmed down.. called me bawling and trying to apologize. out of a ten minute convo i only understood the word sorry. until i got her home and she calmed down a bit.. i don't know what was said while they were gone and don't really want to know. i figure its best that i don't. because it probably goes along the lines of the fact that right now I'm a hormonal bitch and to cut me a break LOL! whatever!

So i seriously didn't think my baby belly could get any bigger.. bow am i wrong.. i get bigger and bigger every damn day! shit its getting hard to get around my baby belly to wipe myself when i pee! too much bigger and I'm gonna have to start yelling for help to wipe myself!

i know I'm jumping around today but oh well get over it!
well i hope y'all have a great day! I'm fixing to have to get ready and dress sissy to go out in this nasty no good weather to get the older kiddos. but right now Ive straight up got a foot in my ribs LOL!! so y'all have a great day!!

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  1. White sticky stuff...lmfao You got your hands full!!!!!

  2. At least in your blog you talked about wiping yourself. I talked about shitting in my last post & I was all over the place too. That's how my mind works. I don't know when or how I am going to have that candid talk with my kids. I had hoped I could wait until closer to 12 or 13 unless they start asking questions about stuff. then I will answer. Or buy them a book!! LOL

  3. If they don't learn from their parents it is scary what they learn from school. I'm speaking from experience, by the way. lol Some of the stories my children would come home from school and tell me made me shutter.

  4. At least he tried to explain it to the boy, he is trying to be a dad. Sorry it wasn't a great explanation - but a lot of the important stuff was in there... haha.

    Oh and the video was awesome!

  5. Lmao, this is how my FIL explained the birds n the bees to his sons, Tab A goes into Slot B. Seriuously that's all he said... Mom's always gotta step in and give the good, right talk. My son's are still to young, Thank heavens, because I have no idea what thier dad will say to them!

  6. I just want to tell you that I love that you use the F bomb- go, girl! (I use it too- we are rare and amazing. lol!)


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