Wednesday, May 5, 2010

How an Avon book saved my life!!

 So first thing this morning out of the corner of my eye i caught the sight of something CRAWLING... up the side of sissys doll house!!
now anyone that knows me KNOWS i HATE spiders!!! like straight up dont care the size they freak me out!!
Well Thank God for Avon ok. my Avon book saved my life this morning!!
As i went to yell for hubby the damn thing JUMPED off sissy dollhouse and hit the floor running.
I just knew it was gonna run straight for me and of course IT DID!!!
so all the while screatching and fucking cussing this eight legged freak  im frantically smacking it with my Avon book. Do you think that it stopped that little bastard? FUCK NO!!! 
he just kept frantically running at my feet!! I swear that MONSTER was huge and had every intention of latching onto one of my bare toes and sucking the life out of me for smacking at it or for even hollering for some one  to kill it!!
So here i am 8 months preggo teetering out of my chair trying to keep my feet off the floor and smacking the living shit out of this  NASTY FUCKING CREATURE that is trying to eat me.  After not one but 5 smacks with this 194 page Avon book it finally sucumbs to my wrath and DIES!


Yea thats right bitch I killed your ass with my Avon book!!!
Of course then i had to start screetching for someone to come get the nasty ass MONSTER out from under my chair. And i look over and the kids are LAUGHING at me!! i couldnt believe it!! He was just gonna let it EAT MY TOE!!




The moral of all of this is.. ALWAYS KEEP AN AVON BOOK HANDY!!! Not only are they awesome to shop thru but it just might save your life... and your toes!!!
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8 comments:

  1. LMFAO...I hate spiders also...They just freak me out...ewwwwww

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  2. OMG!! I nearly peed my pants when I opened your page. Yikes!!! Glad that nasty thing is DEAD!

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  3. LMAO same here!! i just knew he was gonna eat my toes off if i gave him the chance!!!

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  4. YAY AVON!
    I have two yucky spider stories LOL. Both take place in the bathroom were you are most vulnerable! I was shampooing my hair and as I turned, about 6 inches from my face was a big black widow spider. EEESHK! Nothing like that to wake you up in the morning. Needless to say he was washed down the drain. The second was I was er..doing some business on the potty and I reached over to get some toilet paper. I noticed a dark spot on it so I looked on the other side of the paper and there was a big brown yucky long legged spider. I bout wiped myself with a spider! Just thinking bout that makes my skin crawl!

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  5. OMG!!!!!! i would have died in the shower and on the potty!! dead in the bathroom! what a place to die with a spider!!!

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  6. OMG, I would have been screaming my ever lovin head off. I HATE spiders, or bugs of any sort. I freak the hell out everytime I see them! My DF likes to kill them, then chase my pregnant self through the house!! UGH creepers

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  7. I love to read your blog. It always brightens my day and makes me laugh! I gave you an award!!
    http://southerngirlranting.blogspot.com

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