Saturday, May 22, 2010

what happened to my ass???

OK seriously for a min...
what happened to my ass?
no really its still there but when in my 36 1/2 weeks of carrying this baby did it get so wide?
I just got out of the shower and like most people i got out stark naked.. and then i caught a glimpse of my ass in the mirror.. .. naked!!!
i used to have a nice ass.. well back before i had kids..
you know before i became mama!!!
somewhere i forgot i had an ass.. lol
back in high school id put on jeans and check my ass in them.. i had a decently nice ass in high school.. then when baby #1 came along i guess my ass got forgotten.. ya know before i became mama puke, mama pee,mama up all night. then somewhere when baby #1 was 4 i remembered i had an ass and got it looking OK again.. well then baby #2 came along once again i forgot i had an ass... then somewhere right before baby #3 started i remembered and got it looking decent again...
well well well guess what.. low and behold i forgot i had an ass again.. UNTIL TONIGHT!!!!
i mean i don't have a monster ass that looks like it could house a whole McDonald's in it.. or an ass that looks like someone spread cottage cheese on it.... but its gotten wider i think..
 my ass by no means looks like this:
 it doesn't look like its trying to eat a chair by any means. 
* to the woman in this pic.. if you ever see this I'm sorry for laughing at you.. but you make me thankful i cant make my ass look like that no matter what! i mean guys this woman.. she was at graduation last night and her ass was EATING  the chair!! AND whats worse is her ass travels to the front.. ya know like a front butt.. crack in front and all. her front cheeks were slapping together when she walked and i swear i heard them screaming HELP ME!!!!

But on the positive note of my ass... once I'm done being mama puke and mama pee and  the woman ppl  look at in the store and go awe look a new baby and the mama has puke on her shoulder too, i WILL get my ass back again! after a few hundred diaper changes and sleepless nights.
 so to all you moms out there that lost your ass to your kids.. i am right there with you tonight!!!!!


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1 comment:

  1. OMFG I am LMFAO at that ASS of all ass-i-ness. Jesus H fucking Christ. You ought ot be ashamed of yourself for making fun of somebody that is big!! Or at least that's what I was told tonight after I joked about the gargantuan humongous giant 450 pound women I saw in front of a hot dog truck at the Hebrew National hot dog ferstival. I am a bad person. I am a bad character, prejudiced and should be ashamed of myself!! I think it's fucking funny. I thought it was funny when I tweeted it and made a disclaimer before I said it that probably some ppl were going to unfollow me for what I was about to say. I only had one person say anything but man she was pissed. LOL. It made me laugh even harder. I use to be a BIG girl myself. But this was still funny. These are the last women in the world that should have been at a hot dog festival. But I think your picture of that ASS beats my picture of the large & in charge hot dog vixens.

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